On weddings...

weddings vary a lot from country country. I have been to weddings in Germany, the US, Syria and now Zanzibar, so I guess I can say I have some experience.
Take the wedding I went to in the States for example, I had been somewhat prepared for it, having watched several Hollywood chick flicks, in which weddings played a big part, so I knew there was going to be a rehearsal, bridesmaids, groomsmen and all that stuff we do not have in Germany, but still there where some things that surprised me. One of them was how early it was all over, I mean it didn't last past midnight...in Germany wedding celebrations go on until the wee hours...
But even that was longer than the celebrations I have been to here in Zanzibar (yes plural, I have already been to four and apparently there are more to come). Twice I tagged along with my host family here. Both times it was quite an act to get all the various female relatives together in a car and drive there, then we only made a short appearance of 45 min. max., which was shorter than the time it took to get ready. We got there, caused quite a stir because of bringing me, a Mzungu (white person) to the party and then I was passed on from woman to woman (surprisingly not many men were there), I had to eat, dance and pose for pictures (I have no idea in how many wedding pictures I will now turn up, but it was a lot).
The other wedding I had been to was different, I had been invited by a waitress I had befriended in one of the cafés here. So these were, contrary to the first wedding, rather poor people. I was brought to a place right behind the huge apartment buildings that fringe stone town (for my German readers who have been here: behind the “Plattenbauten”). There is a huge sprawling settlement of simple small one story buildings with tin roofs. Here I was greeted by a whole bunch of children, who attached themselves to me, hanging on to my hands and clothes, babbling excitedly, since obviously not too many white visitors come here. Here again I was brought to several families houses to be introduced to all the family members (especially unmarried male ones!) and plied with soda and cookies. We then went to the house of the bridegroom (he is the waitresses' older brother). There was a small band playing, something called kidumba and several female guests had arrived and were gathered around the band. The guests were all female and the band consisted of only male members. After I asked who was the bride and where the groom was, it was explained to me, that this was only the first day, the actual wedding ceremony (which is private by the way, with only the most important and closest relatives in attendance) would take place on the next day. So on this first day there is a henna ceremony, which takes place apparently at the bride's and the groom's house respectively. So there was music (performed by men, whose major role in weddings apparently is to provide the entertainment) and women were dancing. All the while there were women arriving with food which was taken into one of the houses. I was again passed around from woman to woman and so was my camera, with which everybody wanted to take pictures. After a while I got handed a kanga (a piece of colorful printed cloth) which I was told to wrap around my hips. Then I was placed in the middle of the musicians who were sitting around a circle. There were already women dancing on top of some short tables that formed some kind of platform. I was hauled up on that platform and had to dance, by shaking my hips and booty. I was very glad for my belly dance lessons, so I didn't appear quite so foolish. Actually I raised quite a cheer and was complimented for my dancing abilities (I'm sure they were just polite, since I saw them dancing, and, oh boy I will never be able to move my lower body like that...even the little girls are better than me).
This performance actually raised my suitability as a potential daughter/sister/granddaughter-in-law (yes I am quite a catch here) and I was asked over and over again if I wasn't looking for a husband by chance... Actually those conversations usually start with the question if I'm married, which I answer with “not yet”, then the question on how many children I have to which I answer again “none yet” which causes (regarding my advanced age of almost thirty) unbelieving tsking sounds and the question if there was something wrong with me, which I deny. Then supposedly my disadvantage of already having gathered some dust on the shelf is outweighed by the fact that I am European and thus rich so they proceed to introduce me to various single male relatives in the hope to secure a match. At which point I resort to a polite white lie, saying that I already have a boyfriend at home. Which causes two different reactions, either people scold my imaginary boyfriend for not having married me yet (yes, shame on him, what's he waiting for?) and for letting me travel all by myself (I am capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much) or I am told to ditch said boyfriend, since Swahili men make better husbands... So since they say nothing gets men interested as much as some competition, where are you, my imaginary husband to be? Better snatch me up before some one else does....

Back to the wedding: The actual religious ceremony, where the the marriage contract is signed is private, with only few people in attendance. But again the ceremony is surrounded by a big party with lots of music, dancing and food. By speaking of food, at the henna ceremony the evening before there were lots of people who did not actually belong to the wedding party. They were neighbors drawn by the music and the dancing which was all going on outside. So to make sure that only those that were invited received food you were handed a little coupon, this coupon you hand to the girls giving out the food and in return you are presented with a tin container of food and a drink. The food itself was not consumed there, it was meant to be taken home(it made an excellent lunch box for work), because very soon after the food was handed out the groom received his gifts (with lots of laughter, bawdy jokes by the women and an embarrassed groom) and the party slowly but definitely broke up. The next day there actually was food consumed together, then there were pictures to be taken with the bride and groom and more music and dancing. Sometimes there is even a third day of festivities...
Altogether it was a fun event. I lost my shoes, which I had to take off for the dancing and apparently someone liked them so much that they took them home, so now I have a snazzy pair of flip flops with beads... and I have a lot of insight of how wedding work here, very good for my research!

And on that note, here is the piece of Antiquarian Knowledge for the day:
In Kiswahili the verb “to marry” is used differently for men and women. While a man actively marries (“anaoa”) a woman is married in the passive sense of the verb (“anaolewa”). A little in contrast to the festivities were the women play such an active role and the men are the passive ones...