On being lonely... but not alone

(As the Internet connection is not always reliable here, I usually write my posts in advance and just copy and paste them later into my blog in an internet café. This is why this post has been written a couple of days ago, in a momentary bout of the blues- So not to worry I am quite alright, and have reconciled myself with this beautiful island)

It is an interesting phenomenon that you can be lonely even if you are surrounded by a crowd. Loneliness is quite different from being alone. Sometimes I like being alone, sometimes I even need to be. I find large numbers of people at once quite oppressive at times, so I need some time to myself to decompress. But being lonely is different. Lonely is when everybody around you seems to belong to someone. Lonely is being different from everyone around you. Lonely is not being able to participate because you don't understand the social codes. Lonely is not being able to share the little things that happen to you...
I often feel lonely. But it usually does not matter as much because I have books. I never feel lonely when I read. I always belong. Books are like friends, I understand them and they understand me. There is no need for lengthy explanations. No need to try to fit in. But now I have run out of books. I have reread the ones I have with me several times. So tomorrow I will venture out to find a book. And then I will have to find a place to be ALONE... to be with friends who understand me.
It is not very easy to be alone here. You cannot simply sit down somewhere, at the beach or a park for instance, and hope to be left alone. There is always someone who'll start talking to you, be it the papasi (ticks) at the seafront who would try to sell you mittens on these tropical beaches if they had to, be it the street children who present you with little flowers and then want money for them or be it just the curious old lady next to you on the bench in the park. There is always someone who is interested in you and what you are doing. Yes, it is nice to be somewhere where everybody is very friendly and you are constantly greeted on the streets. But you know what? Sometimes I find myself thinking fondly of the inhabitants of my hometown Berlin, who would look at you as if you had just cursed the black plague upon them and their descendants if you dare to say 'Good Morning' to them. As the saying goes: 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'.
Likewise, it is not easier to find a quiet place in the house I'm staying in. It has been a busy household to begin with, but now a whole bunch of relatives have come visiting and I find myself sharing my room with two of them...
So this trip so far is one big learning experience. Learning about other cultures and values, but also about myself and the things that are important to me that so far I have been taking for granted... It is very educating indeed...

PS: I have found a book (the prices for books here are outrageous), and now I am happily traipsing along with the colonial troops in World War I East Africa. (William Boyd, "An Ice-Cream War")

Mom, these are for you:

and to the piece of antiquarian knowledge of the day:
The name Barack is Arabic and means 'Blessing', for those of you who didn't already know. (As for his middle name 'Hussein' it means little Hassan and not 'Evil Personified' as some Republicans want to make us believe.)